Dave's Anatomy: My History As a Writer #109: Spiritual Perspectives: "Qualities of Light."

Saint Ives, Cornwall, UK

The story "Qualities of Light" is what I consider my best story. What makes it that? Why do I think of it that way? All the things that I try to do and want to emphasize came together in that particular story. It embodies the values to which I hold; I managed to express them in the space of about 25 pages and do it with good style and in well-written paragraphs. There are times in the life of any artist—I've had this happen when I do music as well as in writing—when everyone comes together and, for some reason, you do everything well. So it was, at least in my estimation for this particular piece of fiction.

Sossity

It drew on two ongoing characters of mine. The secondary character, Sossity Chandler, appeared in many of my early stories. In fact, I published thirty-eight stories about her. She is a musician, a guitarist, who, after six years of struggle, failure, disappointment, and barely getting by financially, makes it big. The story "Qualities of Light" comes at a low point in her career, when she has landed in London after the collapse of a tour with popular rock singer Geri Muir. Sossity had hoped her opening for such a well-known figure in the music scene would boost her own career. Then Geri collapses and must be hospitalized for drug abuse, and the tour is cancelled. Sossity ends up in London and decides to live for a year and try to connect to the music scene in that city. But London is expensive. She looks for a place to stay and, answering an advertisement for splitting rent with someone, meets Heather Alabaster.

Anglican Nuns

Heather became another ongoing character. I've written stories about her and an as-of-yet unpublished novel with her as the main character. She is about as different from Sossity as she can be. She is a nurse and plans to be an Anglican nun after she finishes her nurses training. Very religious, straight-laced, a virgin, she stands in contrast to the rather loose behavior Sossity often exhibits. But neither of them has enough money to rent rooms in a house, so the two unlikely women move in together, truly an odd couple, and begin a year together as roommates.

"Qualities of Light" begins when they have lived in the same house about three months. Heather takes the train to the town of Saint Ives, UK, where she will be interviewed and, if she passes the interview, will be admitted next year as a postulant at the convent there (a postulant is someone who thinks she would like to become a nun but has not yet taken any vows; Maria in The Sound of Music is a postulant). Sossity goes with her.

Of course, Heather is nervous. The fact that Sossity is with her makes her even more nervous. When they encounter some of the nuns who will interview her on the streets of Saint Ives, she wonders what they will think of her for going around with Sossity, in her shorts and halter top, telling them she plays jazz and blues in nightclubs and bars. Sossity also takes up with a young man she meets (as she often does), which vexes Heather. She becomes judgmental and critical and increasingly alienated from her friend, thinking she may spoil her chances of being admitted to the convent.

Sossity, in the meantime, manages to get some gigs playing and local bars and makes quite a bit of money from the jobs and tips. She works hard, since the two women do not have money and don't know where their money for rent and food will come from next month. Sossity even busks on the streets. Heather goes about the business of preparing for the interview. She becomes uneasy when one of the nuns asks her several questions about Sossity and seems unduly interested in her. Heather catalogs Sossity's moral failings, noting that despite her many affairs with young men, she too is religious, always goes to church, and behaves most devoutly when there. Heather writes her off as a hypocrite and hopes being identified with her does not hurt her chances at entering the cloister.

Heather is admitted. She also finds out why one of the sisters asked so many questions about Sossity. One of them heard her play Celtic music in local pub where she went with her brother, whose daughter was getting married the next day. It was an outdoor wedding and their harp player backed out at the last minute. They ended up hiring Sossity to play and are thrilled at her ability and that she agreed to fill in for them.

After this, Heather has an epiphany:  a moment of realization such as one finds in James Joyce's stories. She realizes how judgmental, selfish, and rude she has been to her housemate. Sossity, who has worked incessantly to earn them money, supported and encouraged her in this trying time, and believed in her, has acted more the Christian than the convent-bound Heather.

On the way back from the wedding, heading for the train station. Sossity is elated. She has made enough money to sustain them for two months. Heather begins to cry. This scene follows:

On the way down, Sossity caught the expression on Heather’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

Heather fought back tears. “Sossity, sometimes I get glimpses what a vain, selfish pig I am—how judgmental and full of pride I can be. I often wonder why God doesn’t strike me from the face of the earth.”

“There are better candidates for that than you. I’d say I’m pretty near the top of the list.”

“I wouldn’t say that at all.”

Heather has realized how far short she falls of the Christian commandments to show love, grace, and gentleness. Sossity has taught her a spiritual lesson she very much needed to learn.

At the beginning of the story, Sossity is reading from a tourist manual that mentions how the city of Saint Ives has always attracted artists because of the "qualities of light" seen there. Heather has learned that there are different qualities of light—different ways of manifesting goodness and of doing good. Her narrow focus has caused her to fail to see light in someone else. As a nun, she will need to revise her thinking on how she evaluates people and to judge not lest she be judged.

The story appeared in Eunoia Review. Read it here.

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Happy reading.