Dave's Anatomy: My History As a Writer, #112: Cinderella Revised: "Sunniva."

Disney Cinderella

Many people are surprised when the read the original versions of fairy tales. We get cleaned-up versions of them:  Walt Disney has made many old fairy-tales squeaky-clean; and we revise them so our children won't be upset or traumatized by these old stories. But reading the originals will shock and upset some people. In the original version of the "The Sleeping Beauty," the Prince finds the Princess asleep, enjoys the "first fruits of love" with the sleeping girl, and gets her pregnant. She gives birth to twins and wakes up when they begin to nurse at her breasts. Her father orders her killed, but the Prince shows up at the last moment to marry her. In "Cinderella," one of the stepsisters cuts off her toes so the slipper can fit; when the treachery of the sisters is revealed, doves peck out their eyes, leaving them blind. And most of the original tales of the Brothers Grimm … well, let's not talk about those. 

Dalin

My revision of the story of Cinderella, titled "Sunniva" takes the story in new directions. It is told from the point of view of the Prince. Here is another thing about several familiar fairy tales. The male protagonist in such stories doesn't even have a name, so he has become "Prince Charming." He comes out of nowhere, has no backstory, we know nothing about him, and yet he saves the day. I focus on his story, name him Dalin, and give his character a little bit of substance. Sunniva is quite different from the Cinderella of later versions.

Sunniva as a child

The story begins as Dalin, back from fighting in the crusader kingdom of Jerusalem, leads a campaign to put down a revolt. He is a capable fighter and overcomes the rebels, capturing their leader. As he is ready to execute the leader, his wife, Lissette, shows up and pleads for his life. Lissette was Dalin's mistress when he was a teenager and went on to marry the rebel. She says she knows where Sunniva is and will tell him if he spares her husband. He agrees. 

Dalin remembers how he met Sunniva. The kingdom in dire circumstances, suffering famine, plague, and impending invasion, the King, Dalin's father, summons Amalina, a sorceress, to help. She brings her daughter, Sunniva (her husband is in exile). She and the King make an arrangement. Her magic restores the health, prosperity, and military strength of the kingdom. Amalina and her daughter reside at the palace. The King makes Sunniva his ward. Dalin grows up with her and falls in love with her. Eventually, however, as Christianity gains more of a foothold in the kingdom, the King violates his word and dismisses Amalina. Because he made himself godfather to Sunniva, however, she stays on in the castle. Dalin's father tells him he will soon be married off to a local princess to cement an alliance with a neighboring kingdom. He despairs, wanting to marry Sunniva. She gives him an idea on how to avoid the marriage. 

Dalin announces his intention to take a vow obligating him to fight in the holy land for five years. His father wants to oppose him but can't go against religion; and Dalin is popular with the people, who are thrilled at his piety and willingness to fight for the cause. He departs.

The next five years hone him for the role of a ruler. By this time there is peace between the Crusaders and Muslims. Dalin fights as a mercenary, often serving Muslim leaders in their mini-wars with other Muslims. He learns to speak Arabic, to lead, fight well, and negotiate. Mysterious things happen that suggest Sunniva's magic is protecting him even at a distance of a thousand miles. After five years, he goes home but can find no trace of Sunniva until Lissette informs him that she is living with a family in a remote part of the kingdom. 

Dalin's father has boarded her with a cruel woman who has two not-very-bright daughters (sound familiar?). Sunniva tells Dalin she put up with their pernicious behavior for three years but of late has used her magic to get them in line. The mother has died. The two daughters, Anastasia and Drizella (their names in the original story) live in terror of her magic. Dalin is reunited with Sunniva. She tells him that king sent her to Arbritta's house hoping that the cruelty of the mother and sisters would break her spirit: “Someone told him the story of Cinderella, I guess...When I came here Arbritta, the mother, who has died, beat me and told me I would live as a slave and eat with the pigs. The first week I slept in the barn. They finally gave me a tiny, chilly room in the house to sleep in. I did all the housework while they lolled.” When Dalin asks why she put up with such treatment for three years she replies that suffering is good for the soul. 

Sunniva as an adult

He and Sunniva are married. He is reunited with Amalina and meets her husband, who has been released from exile. His brother treacherously tries to kill him, but he is rendered helpless by Sunniva's magic. In a few years, the King dies and Dalin ascend to the throne. His suffering through exile and separation from the woman he loves make him a fair, good, and just ruler. 

And, I guess, they all lived happily ever after.

The story appeared in Sorcerous Signals, which has ceased publication. This might be a story to resubmit.

I have two new books in production:  Sinfonia:  A Painted Lady, A Vampire Chronicle, Part 2, coming from Dream Big Books; and The Court of the Sovereign King, from Blue Swan Publications. Stay tuned for news of their releases.

For more titles, see my Writer's Page.

I would love to hear your comments.

Happy reading.

Dave's Anatomy: My History As a Writer, #48: Mythic Revision: "Nemesis."

Cliterature is a magazine of fiction and poetry about women's issues, but they accept stories written by men. I have published three stories in that particular journal, the first one titled "Nemesis." This was one of those stories accepted for a journal that ceased publication before the story got online. After sleuthing around and finding Cliterature, I decided to send the story there and got the acceptance. "Nemesis" was written for an issue dedicated to mythology.

Nemesis is the name of a Greek goddess, but her name has worked its way into the English language. We use the term to mean "enemy" or "someone out to get us." Originally, though, it designated the Goddess of Justice and Revenge venerated by the Romans and the Greeks. One Roman poet called her "Nemesis, winged balancer of life, / dark-faced goddess, daughter of Justice." She would punish the arrogant, prideful, and the blasphemous and was often depicted with wings and a sword (as someone who taught Shakespeare for years I recall the line from King Lear where Gloucester  says, "I shall see / The winged vengeance overtake such children"—Shakespeare's reference to the ancient goddess). She was the deity of justice and retribution.

Goddess Nemesis

 Of course, as you will know if you've read Neil Gaiman's American Gods, ancient deities have fallen on hard times. No one worships them, they have to find jobs, and they often lived marginalized lives. In my fiction world, the ancient deities are still around, and usually they have money. The old networks are still in place, but they have had to readjust and reorient their lives. Nemesis lives in Tartarus, the ancient equivalent of hell, and torments souls. But Tartarus is gloomy, and torturing sinners is boring. She occasionally goes upward to seek fresh air, good food, and sexual partners—mostly women, but now and then a man.

Her occasional attraction to men, though, has gotten her in trouble. Her romance with the god Ares (Mars) has left her on the wrong side of his wife, Aphrodite, the goddess of love. While she is in her apartment, Nemsis gets a call from the goddess Demeter. She gets all excited, thinking maybe Demeter is calling to ask her out, but the goddess, who is very maternal, wants something else. A community garden where she is indirectly worshiped by soil-loving mortals is in danger of being converted to a parking lot. Would Nemesis be willing to go after the man in charge of the project?

Goddess Eidoithea

She takes the job, hoping success will open the door to Demeter's affection. With the help of Eidoithea, a goddess with whom she is friends (but not a lover), she tries to stop the project, but her scheme doesn't work. Eidoithea, however, enlists Aphrodite's help and the two of them manage to stop the destruction of the community garden. Nemesis asks Eidoithea if Aphrodite said anything about her. Her friend tells her, “I promised her I wouldn’t tell. But you better watch your back, Nemesis. You might want to stay down in Hades for a while. She’s definitely got it out for you.” Later, Nemesis gets a short thank-you note from Demeter. She sees the foolishness of thinking her crush on a senior goddess who has never shown interest in a relationship with a woman would bear any fruit. Disappointed and worried about the anger of Aphrodite, she decides to return to the underworld for a few hundred years.

Mythology is a rich and fruitful field to write about, and mythological revisionism is big today. I've mentioned Neil Gaiman's American Gods. The YA book, The Lightning Thief, by Percy Jackson, turned into a best-selling series. There are lots of other examples. Using one's imagination to give new twists on ancient deities is a trend in modern writing. 

Cliterature is available online, and some of its past issues in print, though the one with "Nemesis" is not yet available in hard copy.  The story is, however, available online. It's a great story. Read it here:  Nemesis.

For a good March read, get a copy of Le Cafe de la Mort. At Death's Cafe you can buy Coffee to Die For served up by the Angel of Death. But even Angels get in trouble.  

I would love to hear your comments.

Also, don't miss my latest book, a wuxia story, The Sorceress of Time.

Happy reading.